Brette's Book Tree

Best Intentions

2009-07-14T19:25:00.003-04:00

Best Intentions by Emily Listfield started out as just another older chick book. Manhattan mom of two kids begins to suspect her husband is having an affair. She becomes close to another man and spills her worries. Her company is sold and her career is up in the air. Sounds familiar, right?

But then you get about 2/3 of the way through and her best friend is murdered and it could be her husband who did it or her best friend's on again off again old lover. The man she became close to isn't what he first appeared as. At one point you even wonder if the narrator did it.

This quick turn from chick lit to whodunit is a bit surprising, but made for a good read. I whipped through this one very quickly because I was drawn in. It's a very convincing 'who do you trust' scenario that you can easily imagine yourself in as you read. It was fun to have a chick lit book suddenly turn into a murder mystery. This one was hard to put down and I highly recommend it.

Two Duds

2009-07-13T14:29:00.014-04:00

Last week I picked up a giant stack of books from the library and dug right in. I was disappointed because two of them didn't work out for me. I'm calling them duds, because they were for me, but out of respect for the authors, let me say just because I didn't like them doesn't mean you won't!

The first one is Return to Sullivan's Island by Dorothea Benton Frank. I have read many of her books and loved them all. I love the Low Country and I was so excited about this book - another Low Country story, this one on Sullivan's Island again. I was really disappointed though. I read about halfway through this and gave up. The main character never came alive for me. The Low Country was not alive. I was annoyed by a plotline involving a ghost who puts away food and empties drawers. I just couldn't get through it. Sigh. I was sad because I was all geared up for a nice Low Country story.

My second dud is Commencement by J. Courtney Sullivan. This is a story about four women graduates of Smith College. I'm not really sure what else it's about. I gave up on this too. The plot flashes between past and present. But the present is never very fleshed out. I had a hard time keeping the women straight. I was tired of being reminded that there are a lot of lesbians at Smith. At some point you have to realize your readers get it! I just wasn't invested in anything that happened.

Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers Interview

2009-07-10T16:09:00.005-04:00

Today I'm interviewing Brigitte A. Thompson, author of eight financial books including the just released Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers published by Crystal Press.

Why do writers need your book?

Writers have many questions about income and expenses, but no single source for answers. I created this book, Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers, to be that source. It is an easy-to-understand guide to organizing a writer’s financial life.

This book addresses issues writers face daily such as how to deduct travel expenses, determine taxable writing income, and claim home office deductions. Navigating through the recordkeeping required for a small business owner can be difficult. This book is written exclusively for those of us who earn money by writing.

Readers will also find that each part of this book works together to assist in forming an overall business plan. The chapters take the writer through a comprehensive process that works as a building block towards a successful writing business.

Do freelance writers need a different set of bookkeeping rules?

Many bookkeeping rules are universal such as the requirement to record income, but there are some areas of the tax law that are of more interest to freelance writers. This includes dealing with royalty payments, bartering, personal property and agent fees. My book addresses the universal tax rules as well as the infrequently discussed rules that apply specifically to freelance writers. Learning how to document expenses and how to track income will give writers the best chance at overall business success.

Taxes are one of the areas writers have the most questions about. Are there tax deductions that freelance writers should know but might not be aware of?

There are many tax deductions available to writers. Some expenses are common, such as the cost of purchasing a case of paper or paying for a computer software upgrade. Other costs incurred in the operation of your writing business may not jump out at you as expenses. For example, consider the following examples:

Mileage: Trips made in your vehicle to pick up office supplies or to the library can be counted as a business deduction if you record the proper information to support it.

Meals: Treating your agent to a restaurant meal with the discussion focusing on your next book can also generate a tax deduction when properly documented.

Shipping: UPS charges or postage used to mail a query or review copy of your book can be a small expense, but it should still be tracked. Those small deductions add up and every penny spent as a qualified business expense will reduce the amount of income tax you owe.

Bookkeeping Basics for Freelance Writers devotes an entire chapter to expenses including a comprehensive listing of expenses and detailed information regarding what documentation is required to support each one.

I know I'm interested in things that save me time and money. What are some financial mistakes writers make that cost them time and money and how can we avoid them?

The most common misstep I’ve seen with writers is not taking themselves seriously as business owners. This can lead to financial pitfalls. Many writers have been honing their craft for years so it’s hard to identify an official starting date for their self-employment. Without this point to mark the beginning, it is easy to put off tracking income and expenses. This can be an unfortunate mistake.

The IRS will consider you to be in business when you are actively pursuing projects intended to generate income and expenses. This means they will expect you to file a tax return to report those transactions. Keeping track of your income and expenses from day one will enable you to pay the least amount of income taxes on the money you earn.

Many people (especially some writers) find numbers, particularly when related to bookkeeping and taxes, intimidating. Does your book make these things easier to understand?

Yes, my book breaks down complicated number crunching into easy to follow steps. By reading the book, readers will understand why it's important to keep certain receipts (and how to organize them) and how those pieces of paper factor into the overall success of their writing business. Sometimes knowing the reasoning behind a task makes it easier to complete.

Writers can take advantage of some wonderful tax deductions, but only when they are aware of the possibilities and know how to accurately document the expenses. My book explains it all in a reader friendly format.

Why is it important for writers to understand bookkeeping?

Writers are earning money and this money needs to be reported as income on their income tax return. If writers do not have any expenses to claim, their taxable income will be higher and they will owe more income tax. Understanding what can be claimed as business expenses when you are a writer and how to properly document these expenses will help ensure the success of your business.

The most important thing you can do as a writer is to become organized. There are many books available on how to organize your writing, but this is the best book available about how to organize the financial side of your writing business.

The Year of Fog

2009-07-09T14:04:00.007-04:00

I'd heard good things about The Year of Fog by Michelle Richmond. Even so, I held off on getting this from the library until I was desperate for something to read. Abby takes a walk on a San Francisco beach with her fiance's daughter, Emma. It's foggy and Emma disappears. Was she kidnapped? Did she drown? These are the questions that pull you through the book. At first I was intrigued by the shift between past and present in the book, with the glimpses we kept getting of when Emma disappeared. But then I started getting frustrated. I didn't care about Abby's past. It was obvious she and her fiance weren't going to get back together, so I didn't care about their interaction either. I just wanted to know what happened to Emma. So I pretty much speed-read the second half of this book. I didn't want to return it to the library until I knew the answer, but I just wasn't invested enough to care about anything else that happened.

I've read a few of these books about missing children and they're just depressing. This was the story from a different angle - the fiance and her quest to find the girl. Even so, I didn't care. The book was well-written but it just wasn't a story I wanted to read carefully.

The Finishing Touches

2009-07-09T12:22:00.008-04:00

Today is the first day of my newly revamped blog. I'm leaving up my old posts, but moving ahead with a new direction. From now on I'm going to post about books I'm reading and enjoying. I would love to hear about your favorites. I would love to welcome authors on blog tours, talking about their own books.

Today's book is The Finishing Touches by Hester Browne. I am in love with Hester Browne. I could not get enough of the three books in the Little Lady Agency series. They are about a woman who runs an agency that teaches men manners and helps them learn to become better all-around people. Of course there is lots of cliff-hanging romance in them. I thought the new title was part of the series, but it's not. At first I was disappointed. I needed more Little Lady books! But then I dove in and it was fabulous. This is about a London finishing school that is now outdated. Betsy, the adopted daughter of the owners (who was left on their doorstep as an infant), comes back to revamp it and include lessons girls really need to know, like budgeting, how to deal with embarrassing social moments, and how to make an omelet, while still being true to the school's history by teaching them to be ladies, albeit current, up to date ladies. Betsy also tries to discover who her parents really were and there is suspense as she is interested in two different men.

I loved this book and I'm already waiting for the next Hester Browne book. That's the worst part of a good book - getting to the end and realizing there's no more!

New Books on the Way

2007-02-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

I'm holding in my hands the book I co-authored with my husband, The Essential Supervisor's Handbook.

It's a terrific guide for new managers that outlines how to gain the confidence of your employees, learn to manage yourself, and succeed in your new position.

I recently finished up The Everything Guide to Pregnancy Over 35, which will be in stores in November.

And I just signed on to write Unmarried with Children, a guide for singles and unmarried couples who are raising children outside of marriage. The book will be published by Adams Media at the end of the year.

Powered Up

2006-10-23T12:27:00.000-04:00

On October 13, we got a bit of a nasty surprise here in the Buffalo area - two feet of snow. Falling on trees still filled with leaves, this meant downed branches and downed power lines. We were without power for a full seven days here - other people went as long as 11 days. Schools were closed for a week and a day.

No power meant no computer. We did have a generator, which, plus a sump pump are the only reasons our basement is not filled with seven feet of water right now. The generator did let me use the computer from time to time, but cable was out! We ended up buying a dial up account, and using that on phone lines that kept going out was an adventure.

At long last we're back to normal with kids off to school, lights on and internet working. What a relief that is. I didn't want or need a one week vacation from writing in the middle of October, but I sure got one. So now I'm back at work on the Everything Guide to Pregnancy Over 35 and trying to finish up a couple of magazine articles as well.

Back From the Conference

2006-09-25T12:40:00.000-04:00

I'm just back at my desk this morning after spending the weekend at the Connecticut Coast Writers Retreat in Milford, CT. I had the pleasure of presenting a seminar on non-fiction book proposals. It was a great crowd and they had lots of questions which I enjoyed answering. The rest of the presenters did a great job as well, including my wonderful husband Terry who did a seminar on web sites for writers.

I met some terrific people and also got to meet one of my own editors who I've only talked with via email to this point. The conference was in a terrific setting - at a yacht club on the Long Island Sound, so it was a beautiful place.

This morning I'm back at work. I've already answered a ton of questions that piled up while I was away for the "Ask Brette" column I do on a women's divorce web site. I'm also working hard at The Everything Guide to Pregnancy Over 35. I've got a magazine article to get to work on soon too, so that will keep my busy.

2006-09-12T13:52:00.000-04:00

At the end of July we took a family vacation and visited Williamsburg, Hilton Head, Savannah, Charleston, and Charlottesville. Despite photographic evidence to the contrary, the kids had a great time and even were awake for part of the car ride.

We participated in a witch trial, ate at Paula Deen's restaurant, took a ghost tour, visited a plantation, ate at a boarding house, stuffed ourselves with seafood, shopped till we dropped, went on a crabbing cruise, and got stung by jellyfish. Overall, a very enjoyable trip.

When we got home we undertook a monthlong project of cleaning out all the crawl spaces and basement storage. We had a garage sale and took many trips to Goodwill. It was exhausting. However, any doubts we had about whether the kids had good childhoods were eradicated - no one can have that many toys and grow up unhappy!

I also enjoyed just spending some time with my kids this summer. I'm glad I did, because now that we're back to school and one has started high school and the other has started third grade, things are busy.

Things are busy, busy for me too. I'm writing The Everything Guide to Pregnancy Over 35, doing some magazine articles, co-authoring a college textbook, and working on some other projects.

Sept 23 I'll be speaking at the Connecticut Coast Writers Retreat and so will my husband, so we're looking forward to that.

The leaves are starting to get a tinge of color here in upstate NY and it certainly feels like fall is heading towards us.

New Book

2006-07-10T15:40:00.000-04:00

I'm excited to announce that I'm working on a new book, The Everything Guide to Pregnancy Over 35. Pub date is Nov 07, which seems so very far away, but the book has to be finished by the end of this year, so I am hard at work on it as we speak.

Summer is keeping me on my toes, with the kids home all the time. Hubby works from home also, so it seems I am never alone these days. I'm working when I can but making time to enjoy having everyone home.

Books A Billion

2006-06-12T18:36:00.000-04:00

I'm in the middle of a deluge of books I requested from the public library. I just finished The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld. I didn't like it as much as Prep, but it was good. I guess I felt like I never really got into it and I didn't like the time breaks.

Right now I'm reading Babyface as part of my quest to read all chick lit books that are about pregnancy and new motherhood. So far, so good. I've got Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes waiting for me next, as well as Suburbanistas.

I also recently read Promise Me by Harlan Coben. I love the Myron Bolitar series and it was so nice to see Myron aging a bit. The other characters are still terrific.

Milestone

2006-06-10T19:21:00.000-04:00

Hubby and I just returned from a getaway to celebrate our 17th anniversay. I don't know how so many years have gone by. The weather is quite different than it was 17 years ago. That day it was close to 100 in the morning then we had a downpour of rain that flooded the roads to the reception.

I've got a new book deal to annouce, but will wait until I have contract in hand to post here. Stay tuned!

List Mania

2006-05-23T15:41:00.000-04:00

I just started two Listmania lists on Amazon. One is pregnancy chick lit books and the other is new mom chick lit books. I've already started a section on my website with these reviews, so I thought I would start some lists on Amazon as well.

Today we had a bird incident in the dog yard. A baby robin (although it wasn't very small, it did not have adult color) landed in our dog yard and had some trouble flying. The two parent birds went nuts when we mistakenly let the dog out. They were not happy and wanted that dog out of there. We hauled the dog in and just let them work it out. A few hours later, I am happy to report, the baby bird and upset parents were gone, so we're assuming Junior got his wings going.

I'm very close to completing The Essential Supervisor's Handbook. I've got the first draft done and need to do a read through and see what needs to be added. I'm happy to be so far along though because I have two potential projects coming up and requests for several proposals for other ideas (my agent was a busy bee at Book Expo America). No rest for the weary!

I'm also hard at work planning our trip to Hilton Head. We'll also be visiting Williamsburg and Jamestown on the way there, and Savannah and Charleston while there. We've never visited this area before, so it will be an adventure.

A Mother of a Day

2006-05-15T08:11:00.000-04:00

We had a nice Mother's Day here yesterday. My son wrote me a letter about why I am a great mom and told me that it's because I know everything and can do anything. If only!

I am hard at work writing The Essential Supervisor's Handbook. Co-author husband and I have to schedule book meetings to work on it. I'm also putting together the pieces on a new potential project that I hope to be able to announce soon.

School feels like it is wrapping up, even though the kids don't finish till June 20. The calendar is busy with concerts, presentations, dances, etc. My husband opened the pool yesterday, so summer must be coming. We bought a pool heater last year so hopefully we'll be able to get in the water before July.

May Day

2006-05-01T13:12:00.000-04:00

Ah. Spring appears to be here. We had a beautiful weekend and today is gorgeous as well.

Last week I did a tv interview for WCBS tv in NYC which will air sometime this week on their evening news about plus-size pregnancy. It will be interesting to see how the interview turned out. I did the interview at my local station via satellite, but there was some difficulty with the hook up. The person interviewing me could not hear me, but I could hear her. So the station manager stood off the side on his cell phone and told her when I finished answering each question. She couldn't do any follow ups.

I also did an interview last week for Babycenter.com about plus-size pregnancy.

This week my calendar is clear except for some medical appointments, so I'm hoping to be able to make a lot of progress on my new book, the Essential Supervisor's Handbook.

Mea Culpa

2006-04-24T16:00:00.000-04:00

Bad, bad blogger. That's what I've been. I've been neglecting this blog! Work, personal stuff, and vacation all got in the way, but I'm back.

Right now I'm writing a book proposal I'm quite excited about, and those are the best kinds.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to go tape an interview for WCBS News in NYC which will air in early May about Your Plus-Size Pregnancy. I'm also doing a radio interview tomorrow about The Divorce Organizer and Planner book which is on tape as well and will air soon.

I've been a busy little promoter with all sorts of cool things in the Buffalo News, TheNest.com and more. Check out my web site press room pages for links.

Spring seems to have sprung while I was away and we returned to daffodils and trees in bloom - a wonderful sight after a long Buffalo winter.

Fitness

2006-03-21T08:16:00.000-05:00

There's a terrific little piece in the April issue of Fitness Magazine about Your Plus-Size Pregnancy. The editor there was terrific and talked with me to develop it. I did have one person say to me that not many plus-size women read Fitness. I don't agree with that though. I think that there are many women who are plus-sized and healthy and fit.

A New Endeavor

2006-03-20T08:20:00.000-05:00

Today I'm starting a new book - The Essential Supervisor's Handbook. It's exciting because not only is it a new topic for me, but my husband is co-authoring it. It's not due till the end of July, but there's a lot going on between now and then so I've got to really get going on it. I just finished the second edition of the Seniors' Rights book, so that's off my plate.

We always have a big St. Patrick's Day dinner here and this year was no exception. I'm looking forward to making corned beef hash with the leftovers.

The countdown to Florida is in full force here. 3 1/2 weeks until we leave and it won't be soon enough judging from the fact that spring is here, but it sure doesn't feel like it!

The DVR is getting quite a workout on Sunday nights lately - taping West Wing, Desperate Housewives, The Sopranos, Big Love and Grey's Anatomy (the last one is for our daughter). With all of that and American Idol during the week, we can barely keep up.

A Night Out

2006-03-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

Well we had a night out alone last night, which is a rarity for us. We saw Failure to Launch which was pretty terrible. It had some funny moments though. Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw were probably the highlights of the movie. I don't understand why Matthew M is the "sexiest man alive" because I find him to be smug and annoying. Give me George Clooney any day over him. Probably the popcorn was the highlight of the night. We also have learned that the 5:15 show is the senior citizen showing apparently.

The countdown to Florida is on - a little more than a month to go.

I'm hard at work on the 2nd edition of Seniors' Rights, although I am going to try to take the weekend off.

Live Chat Today

2006-03-08T08:13:00.000-05:00

Today I'll be doing a live chat on Pregnancy.org. I've linked you to the direct page for log in. The chat starts at noon Eastern time and will last approximately one hour.

Columns

2006-03-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

I just finished up my March column. I write monthly about parenting after divorce for several sites. You can read the columns at Divorce Interactive. I have lots to say about this topic. I was a Law Guardian (an attorney representing children in family court) for much of my law practice, and worked with many families. I have a unique perspective because my job was to advocate for the children and what they needed - which is often very different from what the parents ask for. Most of my cases were families returning to court after having been separated or divorced, with problems with their visitation plan. Based on all of this, I wrote my book How to Parent With Your Ex. I enjoy continuing to write monthly about the topic.

I also write a column for each issue of AmaZe Magazine about plus-size pregnancy, fertility, and parenting.

One Down

2006-03-05T09:59:00.000-05:00

Last night I finished Gay and Lesbian Medical Rights. Whew! That's one big project off my desk. I am really pleased with how it turned out. This one is due to be released in early 2007 at this point. I should be getting page proofs back for Gay and Lesbian Parenting Choices any day.

I've got a column I need to write this week but other than that, I have a few days in which to take a breather, which is good. The next project is The Complete Supervisor's Handbook but that's not due till the end of July. I also will be writing a second edition of Seniors' Rights in that time frame. Considering we have two family trips planned between now and then, my available work time isn't as long as it sounds.

Join Me for a Live Chat

2006-03-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'll be doing a live chat on www.pregnancy.org on Wednesday March 9 at 12 noon Eastern time. The focus will be plus-size pregnancy, so please stop by. I'm looking forward to answering questions.

Lots of News

2006-02-27T08:01:00.000-05:00

My kids were off all of last week, but we're back to school today. Things aren't totally normal around here though. My husband had his last day at his previous job last Friday and today is starting his own company, Sember Resources, which will offer internet and marketing solutions. He did my web sites, which I think are pretty impressive.

I'm going to be launching a new blog hopefully this week about one of my favorite things - shopping! It's called Future Finds and is based on this predilection I seem to have for things that aren't widely available yet. I'll desperately hunt for an item for a year and then suddenly it will be everywhere, so my goal is to spotlight some of these items early so other people can find them. I'll post here when it's up and running.

Bad Blogger

2006-02-21T09:59:00.000-05:00

Well I've been a bad blogger and haven't been keeping up with this too well. I've been busy with a lot of work - page proofs and deadlines. Also, this week my kids are home on spring break. Friday was a snow day, so that got an early start to things, and the day before that, my son was home sick!

My husband is transitioning to a new job and next week will be starting his own marketing and internet solutions company. So things have been a bit crazy with that.

I also think the doldrums of winter have finally gotten to me. We're planning a trip to Hilton Head in July and reading travel guides has been the only thing that has kept me going I think! My husband is counting the days till we leave for Florida over Easter break, but it still seems so far away that I can't bear to count the days.

As for what I'm working on, I've got an article to finish up for ePregnancy, a column to write and am still working my way through the gay medical rights book. As always, lots on my plate.

Conceivable

2006-02-16T13:09:00.000-05:00

Most women have questions about getting pregnant that they're too embarrassed to ask their physicians. I know I felt that way. Because of this, I wrote "Your 11 Most Embarrassing Conception Questions" which appears in the spring 2006 issue of Conceive Magazine. I just got my contributor's copy in the mail.

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T13:06:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day is a mini-holiday at our house. Every year I buy some small gifts for the kids and hide them. Then I give them one written rhyming clue, which leads them to another and another, and eventually, to their presents. I thought they might be getting too old for this, but they both said they really enjoy it, so I just finished hiding all the clues and gifts.

I had to do some last minute work on Gay and Lesbian Parenting Choices but am now back to the gay medical rights book.

This morning I did an interview with a London paper about The Complete Gay Divorce. Although gay marriage has been legalized, no gay divorces can take place there until January 2007, so this is still unexplored territory for them.

No blizzard

2006-02-13T08:10:00.000-05:00

I had another day with the internet down which really put a kink in things here. Once it was all working again, it was nose to the grindstone for a while. Last week was also crazy with a million doctor, dentist and orthodontist appointments. There has also been a major family decision made which I hope to be able to post about later.

I just want the world to know that we here in Buffalo did not get any part of the huge blizzard which hit the east coast!

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Our family tradition involves small gifts for the kids, which they must find by following rhyming clues through the house. I wrote them yesterday and still need to type them up.

I'm working on an article about women who gain less than the recommended amount during pregnancy. If you or anyone you know fits the bill, drop me a note.

Escape from the Dungeon

2006-02-07T16:45:00.000-05:00

Today I was trapped. The internet was down and so was the cable (it's the same carrier). This was no brief outage. It lasted 7 hours. Yes, 7 hours. It almost killed me.

I tried to work, I really did. But apparently I am hard wired to check my email every five minutes. And I needed to do research online for the book I'm working on. It was terrifying. I couldn't even watch tv while I had lunch.

But it's back up and I have read all 231 email messages and placed an online order so I am starting to breathe regularly again.

Positioning

2006-02-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

Well there's a new "position paper" about plus-size pregnancy I must rant about. The journal Birth Defects Research has concluded that obesity should be classified as a pregnancy risk factor. The paper went on to recite the dangers of plus-size pregnancy. Sigh. Look, I know all the statistics (after all, I actually did write the book on this! Your Plus-Size Pregnancy), but I get tired of the "news" stories that keep running about this. It's not news. They're just harping on previous research and all the squawking about how larger women are at twice the risk of some defects is enough to scare any plus-size pregnant woman into a miscarriage, or at the very least an unnecessary amnio. Yes, women who weigh more do have a greater risk of some complications, and yes some of the risk is doubled (but you've got to remember that when you double a small risk like 1 in 100, you end up at 2 in 100 which really isn't all that scary).

Stories like these do nothing more than scare people. There are solutions - such as taking additional folic acid and getting prenatal screening tests done that these reports do not talk about. And the overwhelming majority of plus-size women have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.

And it also creates a perception in people's minds that if you are plus-size and have a complication, well then it is your own fault. The thing no one talks about is you aren't supposed to try to lose weight when you are trying to conceive or when you are pregnant because it can harm your baby.

Groundhog Love

2006-02-04T12:39:00.000-05:00

Groundhog's Day is a minor blip for most people, but here it was an important occasion. It was a day of love and heartbreak at our house. Our guinea pig, Lettuce, proclaimed her love for Punxatawny Phil. You see, they are both rodents. And Phil is a larger rodent, which makes Lettuce feel petite (my husband like to point out how big her butt is). So Lettuce is smitten with Phil. We have another groundhog in our area called Dunkirk Dave but he was too small for her tastes. The kids cut out a photo of Phil from the paper and taped it to the side of her cage. He was herPunxatawny pin up. Sadly though, Percy, our puppy promptly ate the pin-up of Phil. We believe he was put up to it by Monty, my mother's dog. Monty comes to stay with us often and let's just say he is not the brightest of dogs. He is deeply in love with Lettuce and spends most of his time standing by her cage growling in frustration because he can't get to her. If you take her out, he frantically licks her. So, there's a good chance Percy was carrying out Monty's instructions.

So Lettuce is left without a boyfriend. Sigh.

In other news, I just did an interview with the Buffalo News which will run soon.

I also must comment on some recent photos I saw of Mariah Carey on http://www.thesuperficial.com/. I thought it was nice to see a celebrity have a body like a real woman, yet everyone is making fun of her. I think it's appalling.

Welcome February

2006-02-01T10:24:00.000-05:00

January somehow flew by and while we're still having some mild weather, it looks like real winter is set to return this weekend.

My latest column is up on AmaZe Magazine at http://www.venusimaging.com/Magazine/2006/FebMarPassion/brette.htm
This time I wrote about plus-size fertility. I like AmaZe and I hope that they switch over to being a print publication sometime. It sure seems like nothing can make it though as a plus-size magazine. The latest victim is Figure, which I've heard has stopped creating editorial content and is going to strictly fashion spreads.

I've got one child home sick today and another who went to school not feeling well, so it looks like it won't be a heavy work day for me. I'm busy reading page proofs for the second edition of Gay and Lesbian Rights and if I can at least make progress through that today I will feel I've accomplished something.

Olympics

2006-01-31T08:09:00.000-05:00

Last night I competed in the grocery store Olympics. Usually I try to get there during the day but we had run out of food, so I had no choice. The level of difficulty was quite high, as I had to complete my run through the store and return to pick up my daughter from her flute lesson within one hour, while purchasing everything on my list. I am proud to say I was up to the challenge and made it with 15 minutes to spare. There are several important techniques one must be aware of. It is key to choose the right cashier and the right lane. It is also important to have a well thought out list and a good mental map of the store. While it is easy to speed through the store and only buy what is on the list, it takes a skilled competitor to complete the list and buy all those other things you see and realize you need.

I'm a veteran of this sport and have competed in other events, such as the shop with an infant between feedings, shop with a toddler between naps, and shop with two unwilling children lagging behind you and antagonizing each other. I have even competed in the shop with husband along category, in which you try to minimize the "hey let's get that" purchases. And, as proof of my exceptional skills, I have also occasionally participated in the do your own shopping and your elderly grandmother's at the same time, which necessitates putting one of the hand held baskets underneath your cart and working from two lists simultaneously.

In other news, yesterday's KTYD interview got pushed to today - apparently it's on tape anyhow and will play later in the week.

Lots going on

2006-01-30T08:06:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy few days. My son's 8th birthday was on Friday. I don't remember birthdays requiring so much effort when I was kid! I had to make a treat to send in to his class. Then I made his birthday dinner (the kids get to pick what they want for their birthdays) and cake for this birthday. Then there was the party with his friends on Saturday. He wanted a store-bought cookie cake, so there was no baking involved for that. I put my foot down and said I was not making another dinner and cake for his grandparents to come. In the past I've made cupcakes for school, birthday dinner and cake at home, cake for friends and dinner and cake for grandparents. Way too much for one birthday!

We visited my in-laws and grandmother this weekend, so it was a full weekend for sure.

This morning I'm doing an interview with WTYD in Williamsburg, VA at 10 eastern. Tomorrow I'll be on WNCQ (upstate NY) at 12 noon eastern. Later this week I'll be talking to a reporter from the Buffalo News for a piece on plus-size pregnancy.

I was driven to shout "no more dogs" this weekend. My parents' two dogs have been staying with us and in addition to our two, one of whom is still a puppy, it's been a long few weeks. Terry and I agreed that this is what people who have 3 children under 3 must feel like. My parents' dogs are both young - 3 and 1 - so we have been dealing with puppies for a few years here and it is just getting tiring. I think we both feel like we never want another puppy again no matter what at this point. Especially after Percy threw up on my bathrobe this morning. Blech.

Inspiring Day

2006-01-26T13:56:00.000-05:00

I've really been having an inspiring day. First a friend was telling me about a new way of thinking she's been using that she's found to be so uplifting and helpful in her life. She always has the most interesting things to tell me and I usually find useful bits to apply to my own life.

Then I went to visit my 96 year old grandmother and had such a nice chat with her today. She asked about the latest book I am working on and she blurted out "you know, I don't know why people don't let 'the gays' have the same rights as the rest of us." She's pretty feisty for her age and as always, she is such an inspiration to me.

Then I came home and got the mail (we won't talk about the bone chilling 19 degree walk to the mailbox) and found the Feb/Mar issue of Fit Pregnancy in which my book, Your Plus-Size Pregnancy, is mentioned and I am quoted in the article starting on p. 90. It's so gratifying to see a mention of the book and know that word is out about it.

2006-01-25T10:56:00.000-05:00

I've been struggling all morning with a keyboard that keeps coming unplugged. It doesn't help that there are two dogs jostling for the best spot underneath my desk. I have found that if I turn my space heater on, it is gets too warm for them and they find shelter elsewhere.

I'm toying with the idea of starting a new blog and will post here if I do decide to move ahead with it. I've found that I really enjoy blogging. It's kind of like the emails I send to my friends in that I get to write about the things I'm thinking about or interested in right then. The new blog would continue in that vein, but be more focused on certain products.

Tonight we're going to the high school for an orientation session. That's right. My oldest child will be a high schooler in the fall. Yikes! I'm not sure why orientation must start in January for something that won't be happening until Septemeber though.

Spic and Span

2006-01-22T17:19:00.000-05:00

Well I did some major cleaning and rearranging in my office today. We went and bought a new file cabinet since mine were stuffed to the gills. We also removed a computer desk and brought in a shelving unit. Once all that was in place, I took a deep breath and dove into my filing pile - mostly clips and articles. Oh, it was ugly. I am embarrassed to admit that at the bottom of the pile I was filing things from 2003. But I got it all done and my office feels nice and roomy and makes me feel ready to take on a new and exciting project, so hopefully one will come along.

I happened to check out the Amazon page for Your Plus-Size Pregnancy today and the rank was up in the 8000s, so that was exciting to see. I'm supposed to be doing an interview about it this week with the Buffalo News.

If you look to the left you'll see that at long last I've gotten some links up. I hope to continually add to them. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I'm always happy to do reciprocal links. And I also hope to eventually add different categories of links - such as pregnancy, divorce and so on.

I talked to my mom today. She's in Florida and reported that it is 83 degrees there. Just kick me when I'm down (or spending winter in Buffalo) why don't you? I can happily report it was sunny here today though and my son said, "if you look out the window and just look to the sky, you think it is summer." This from the boy whose birthday is next week and likes to say, "I was born in the heart of winter."

I've been asked to blurb a book about divorce. It's actually an interesting take on it. It's called Finding Your Way Through Divorce by Kathy Brewer Gorham and it will be published by Ave Maria Press this spring. It's a supportive book for Catholics going through divorce. I'm working on the blurb and hope to get it out this week. I'm so happy to have the chance to help another writer. I know what it's like to be looking for blurbs for a book cover.

Reality

2006-01-20T12:32:00.000-05:00

Well tv reality season has kicked in and once again I find myself sucked in. I have decided to forgo Dancing with the Stars, but I will admit to watching The Bachelor, Skating with Celebrities, and American Idol. As Kathy Griffin would say, ok, let me break it down for you.

I don't know what that oncologist on The Bachelor was smoking, but who would think that a doctor would go on a reality show to meet another doctor? If he wanted to date a doctor, he would have stayed home. And why do people write bad poetry and then proudly read it aloud? Eww. Why is there always a kindergarten teacher on these shows? What does that say about kindergarten teachers?

I was miffed at the Skating with Celebrities when we learned two of the celebrities knew how to skate already. Cheaters. I knew I had to watch the show when I heard Scott Hamilton was hosting it. I love him.

American Idol - same old, same old, but I still love to watch it. I didn't appreciate Simon's comments about needing a bigger stage. Clearly he just needs a bigger bit for his mouth.

Oh, and my daughter watches Project Runway so I've been sucked into that vortex too. The skating costumes were so much fun to watch. Although I do not understand why skaters like to wear those outfits with the skin colored fabric. Hate, hate, hate them. I liked the turquoise outfit the best.

Not very intellectual, but it will have to do until Bill Maher is back on.

Redbook

2006-01-19T19:15:00.000-05:00

I'm quoted in the February issue of Redbook (p. 146) in a great piece on the costs of new babies. Lots of new parents really find themselves unprepared for the changes in lifestyle and financial habits that babies cause and I think the piece highlights that. It's something I deal with in depth in Your Practical Pregnancy Planner and the book even includes a budget to help new parents plan their expenses.

Today I took the kids to visit my 96 year old grandmother, who lives in her own home. It's always inspiring for me to go see her and I always leave hoping that when I'm 96 I'm as mentally crisp as she is.

On the way home, the kids were excited because I was going to make homemade corn dogs for dinner. But alas, some unknown person (please, we all know it was my husband) ate the rest of the hot dogs and committed the cardinal sin of NOT WRITING THEM ON THE LIST. This is a big thing in my house. Please, feel free to eat and finish anything you want, but you MUST then put it on the list. As I repeatedly tell them all, I am not psychic and do not know what they have eaten and therefore cannot replace it. It drives me nuts. "Mom, there's no waffles left!" "Well, you're the only one who eats them and if you didn't put them on the list, I didn't buy more."

Some frozen stew from the freezer saved the day. Good thing too, because I didn't want to have to go back to my Rachel Ray cookbook and try something else. Her recipes are great, but I don't know what undernourished people she is used to feeding, because her recipes are supposed to feed 4 and they make enough for an entire army. My freezer is stuffed with leftovers from recipes from that book.

Regular Programming

2006-01-18T10:01:00.000-05:00

It's back to my regularly scheduled programming here today after finishing up that sample chapter yesterday. Today I got to see the cover of Gay & Lesbian Medical Rights, which looks great. The cover will be up on the books section of my web site (brettesember.com) later today. It's always a bit odd to see the cover before the book is written! I've also learned that the supervisor's book I'm doing for Career Press has been officially titled The Essential Supervisor's Guide. That book will quite a change for me since my husband is co-authoring it with me.

I'm reading The Ivy Chronicles, which is good so far.

Later today I'm going to stop by Pregnancy.org for the online chat Kris Bordessa (see her guest blog here last week) is doing.

My husband's niece Melanie, who is 14 and has cerebral palsy, is in the hospital with pneumonia in serious condition, so our thoughts are with her and her parents.

A Dog Weekend

2006-01-16T09:45:00.000-05:00

My parents' dogs are visiting, which means we have a full house, with 4 golden retrievers. From left to right in the photo: Monty (my parents' dog), Percy (our destructo-puppy), Olivia (my parents' dog) and Izzy (our older dog). Having all 4 really isn't horrible, since Olivia and Percy keep each other busy playing and Monty and Izzy are grown dogs who don't need a lot of supervision.

We finally got the Christmas decorations down this weekend. We were so sick the previous weekend. It was a relief to reclaim the house. It was also a movie weekend. My husband and son went to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and my daughter and I saw Memoirs of a Geisha, which we both recently read.

Then I started facing the taxes and did some long overdue filing. I have uncovered the wire basket I keep all the household papers in - I don't think I've actually seen it in months.

No school here today which means it is hard for me to get any work done. I've got a sample chapter I've got to finish up that a publisher has requested, but it looks like I might get that wrapped up tomorrow. Then I can get back on schedule here for the rest of the week

Friday the 13th

2006-01-13T11:05:00.000-05:00

Friday the 13th is actually a lucky day for me, since I was born on Friday the 13th. A cashier in a store I was in this morning felt a need to share with me that her husband had a vasectomy on Friday the 13th and something went wrong. Too much information.

The gorgeous spring-like weather continues here but is due to end tomorrow. It has felt so nice to go outside without a coat. I'm not even dreading the next three months of darkness and cold (ok, maybe a little, but I feel better equipped to deal with it now).

I had a bit of an incident yesterday with an interview I did on a morning show. The person who scheduled the interview for me clearly did not check the station out because it was a morning zoo, Howard Stern type of situation. I was supposed to come on to talk about The Complete Gay Divorce and as you can guess, that's not exactly a topic that goes over well in that environment. In fact, they had set up a big gag with two "listeners" (who I suspect are regular parts of the show, a la Howard Stern characters) who claimed to be gay. Nothing rang true, there was an audio problem that made it difficult for me to hear them, and one of them launched into a detailed sexual explanation and then asked an inappropriate question. I hung up. The show's producer has since apologized and there is all sorts of scurrying at my publisher and publicist's offices to discuss what happened. At the time, I was insulted, but I see no reason to waste any more of my time or energy on it.

Knee Deep

2006-01-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm in the middle of putting together a sample chapter a prospective publisher has requested. Which means I've needed to drop everything and give my attention to that alone to get it done quickly.

This morning I'll be doing an interview with WBZX in Columbus Ohio at 9 am ET. Tomorrow I'll be on WMUB Cincinnati at 11 am ET.

This morning I put the invitations in the mail for my son's 8th birthday party. We're having it an indoor go kart place. I'm just glad it's not at the house. It is so much easier to have it someplace else.

I got my first full night of sleep last night for the first time in a week and it was quite welcome. I think I could have slept for a month.

I finished Jacquline deMontTravel's The Fabulous Emily Briggs and am now reading the follow up, Escape from Bridezilla.

2006-01-11T11:07:00.000-05:00

There's a terrific article in Indy's Child Magazine this month (also online at www.indyschild.com) about plus-size pregnancy in which I'm quoted. Angie Roberts who wrote the piece is a terrific writer and is already getting fan mail about how great it is!

I made a break for it and left the house today. The flu made a run through every single member of the house and I have been like a prisoner here for 6 days. What made today even nicer is that it is over 50 here today and for January in Buffalo, that's saying something!

I've realized one of the biggest problems the stomach flu situation has caused - there are now four entire dinners I can't make for a very, very long time. Each one of us ended up sick on different nights after having had different dinners, and you know how you can't even look at food you ate on a day you got sick. So I've got to add some things to my repertoire quickly. Fortunately I got Rachel Ray's new book, 365 Meals for Christmas and I'm going to get started with something from in there tonight.

I must confess I watched my TiVo'ed episode of The Bachelor last night. It was nice to sit down and watch something totally mindless.

Build Creativity

2006-01-10T13:02:00.000-05:00

Today I'm going to hand over the reins to my friend, writer Kris Bordessa, who is the author of a wonderful new book called Team Challenges: Group Activities to Build Cooperation, Communication and Creativity. Find out more about her book at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1569762015/mooseinthebirdba/002-6620705-1002405

During her blog book tour, visitors to her blog (http://greatsolutions.blogspot.com) can request a free copy of her e-book, Ten Minute Tasks (you can't beat a bargain like that). She also has two live chats coming up with pregnancy.org (1/18) and with Bella online (1/24) – anyone who wants to chat will need to register ahead of time at these sites.

Ok, so without further ado, here is Kris Bordessa:

***************************
January is International Creativity Month – an opportunity to be more aware of how we are fostering creativity in our kids. It's also a chance to rethink the way we do things!

CREATIVITY BUILDERS
Kids are naturally creative. Given a pot and a wooden spoon, toddlers will happily pound out a tune to their own beat; with a paint brush and a piece of paper, preschoolers will experiment with the way the paint flows and blends; with some spare parts and an alarm clock to disassemble, a young inventor might create a "time-machine". But creativity is not about a fabulous end product. Rather, it's about the process of discovery and having the freedom to explore different possibilities in an environment that is free of judgment. If you'd like to foster creativity in your kids, consider these pointers:

Maintain a project box. Fill it with recycled household items like bottle caps, cardboard tubes, plastic lids and film canisters. Add some colored masking tape, a glue stick and glitter, and your kids will be set to create.

Make certain that you have at least a small arsenal of paint, glue, markers and pastels. Liquid watercolors for kids and crayon pastels are an alternative to the usual box of crayons and last forever.

Join them in creating. Sit down and model something from clay or string your own bead necklace. It doesn't matter how skilled you think you are – your kids will be thrilled to see you participate in something they love.

Hold your tongue. Kids will not do things the way that you would do them – guaranteed. Learn to keep quiet and let them experiment so they can learn for themselves what works and what doesn't.

Point out your own creative solutions in daily life. "I can't find any carrots for carrot cake; I think I'll try substituting apples."

Teach kids to think of creative alternatives. Not enough butcher paper for a life sized family portrait? What else would work?

CREATIVITY BUSTERS
Unfortunately, with our preconceived notions of how things should be, adults can sometimes quash creativity before it has a chance to really blossom. Check out the creativity busters below, and see if there's room for more creativity in your household.

Coloring books may evoke fond childhood memories for parents, but they limit children's creativity with the unspoken expectation to color within the lines. Instead, offer blank sheets of paper with crayons or colored pencils.

Guessing what a child has drawn can backfire. You may comment on the fearsome gorilla, only to find that the child intended to portray his kindly grandfather. A better way to discuss a child's artwork is to ask the child to tell you about the picture.

Pretty clothes are fine for special occasions, but a child who is always dressed to a "T" will quickly learn to limit involvement in messy art projects. Provide your child with several sets of play clothes that can be worn without a care for their condition.

Showing young artists an example of what the finished product should look like can lead to frustration as they try in vain to replicate your ideal. Skip the models and instead allow children the opportunity to experiment with different materials to come up with a one-of-a-kind piece of art.

Judgmental comments about your child's creation ("that's beautiful!") are transparent, even to kids. Instead, make a concrete comment about what you see, and engage your child in a conversation about the artwork: "That's a really bold stroke of yellow. How did you make it?"
If you are constantly cleaning up behind your child, the message will become clear: messes are bad. Relax!
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Thanks for joining me Kris! My youngest is very artistic and your tips are really great. I know I fall into some of those common traps all the time and I think this will help me encourage his creativity even more.

Back to Work, Barely

2006-01-09T07:53:00.000-05:00

An interview I did about my book, Your Practical Pregancy Planner, called Financial Shocks New Parents Face is up on Bankrate.com at http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/pf/20051220a1.asp. Many thanks to Lynne Ticknor who did a great job writing this piece - while caring for her own newborn!

Today, in addition to the drive time radio interviews on my schedule, I'm also doing an interview with Bundle Magazine about the same book.

I am the latest flu victim in our house and am just getting back on my feet today after a really bad 24 hours. At some point I'm going to have to get to the grocery store, but at this point I can barely stand up (thank goodness my job lets me work sitting down).

I'm reading The Fabulous Emily Briggs. I have to admit I almost put it down in disgust. Somehow in the first 1/4 of this book, there are tons of sentence fragments. It was very distracting. But then the grammar improved and I'm enjoying. I especially like it because it is long. I hate sometimes you just get into a good book and suddenly it's over. My 7 year old son was just saying something about this to me the other day. He finished the latest Franny K. Stein book and said he could just cry because it was over and he didn't want it to be.

Radio Tour Schedule

2006-01-07T12:06:00.000-05:00

Here's my schedule for next week(all times are Eastern time):
1/9 9 am KCMN Colorado Springs
1/9 9:40 am KUKA Corpus Christi
1/10 10 am WLW Cincinnati
1/10 11:40 am WSDE Albany, NY
1/12 12 pm WNCQ Upstate NY

I'll be talking about The Complete Gay Divorce.

The stomach flu continues to barrel through the house with child #2 up half the night, just as child #1 is getting back on her feet. We were going to take down the Christmas decorations today but it's noon and I'm still in my pajamas, not fully awake. I can tell already it is going to be a lost weekend.

On the mend

2006-01-06T15:48:00.000-05:00

The kids are still home, but are on the mend.

All right, I've got to vent. I do a LOT of interviews, both as the one being interviewed and the one doing the interview. I much prefer email interviews. When I'm being interviewed, it gives me time to think and it also gives me time to find the right page in whatever book I am talking about, and believe me, with over 20 books, all the information in those books is simply not readily accessible in my head. It always feels like a test to me - being put on the spot and asked about something I do not remember the details about. Off the cuff, I cannot tell you which state has which law or cite statistics in medical studies. I have too many books, about too many topics. Yet, people persist in being upset when I tell them I prefer email questions to phone calls. I always say I will do follow ups by phone or email if necessary and I explain that I just think better in writing, which is absolutely the truth, which is why I am a WRITER not an ORATOR. If they want details from me, they're only going to get them through email. I can, and do, talk quite well about the general concepts and issues, after all I do a lot of radio, but I just hate being expected to discharge details on the phone. I do have index cards with notes to use, but it becomes excessive with over 20 books, so that that doesn't even help much.

I also prefer email interviews when I am conducting interviews for magazine articles. It allows people to answer questions when it is convenient for them and gives them time to consider their answers. I know a lot of editors claim they don't want writers to do email interviews because it doesn't "sound" right when you read it, but I find that is not the case at all.

All right, I've got a date to play I Spy Spooky Mansion on the computer, so I've got to end here.

Monkey Wrench Day

2006-01-05T14:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here I am all back in the writing mode and my oldest was up half the night with the stomach flu. She's got really bad aim so I had lots and lots of laundry to do. Then my youngest came home from school with a stomach ache and a headache. So far that's it though for him(fingers crossed - please, no more throw up laundry). So now I am working triage, dispensing Tylenol, wet clothes, clean buckets, blankets, water, you name it. Somehow in the midst of it all I did manage to bang out a chapter this morning though, so at least I've accomplished something. I always do work well in crisis mode, since I got started as a writer when my son was just a baby and I could only write in short little spurts.

Next week I'm going to be doing a week of morning drive time radio interviews about The Complete Gay Divorce. I don't have the complete list of stations and times yet, but when I do, I'll post it here. Major kudos to Newman Communication which does PR for Career Press and set it all up. And I just found out I have an article in the Rochester (NY) Healthy Living magazine about plus-size pregnancy.

It may be deepest darkest January, but I'm thinking spring. We go to Naples, FL every Easter and this year I'm contemplating a detour to Ft Lauderdale to see the King Tut Exhibit. So when I'm stumped on what to write next, I've been flipping over to some sites about that area. I foolishly clicked on a live beach cam. Yeah, here I am in Buffalo with our 12th straight day with no sunshine (a record) and the beach down there looks mighty appealing.

I forgot to mention in my books post the other day that I LOVED The Bachelorette Party. What a fun, witty read that was. I'm going to be sure to post a review on Amazon for that.

News

2006-01-04T08:22:00.000-05:00

The first book I edited is now available on Amazon. It's called Get Back on Your Feet: What Every Injured and Ill Person Needs to Know by Deborah Ribis. Deb is a nurse who has a wide range of experience working in rehabilitation and with insurance companies and she did a great job. I'm happy to see the book out at last and hope that it sells well for her.

I've also been meaning to mention that there is an excerpt from my book No-Fight Divorce in the current issue of Divorce Magazine.

Swimming in a Sea of Books

2006-01-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

One of the best things about the holidays is getting books and then being able to enjoy them for weeks afterwards. I have a nice stack of books yet to read here and have read several already.

Last night I finished Mike, Mike and Me by Wendy Markham. Top marks for that book. A chick lit book that not only is written for old, boring married women like me, but which keeps you guessing the whole way through. I loved it. I also read Blowing My Cover by Lindsay Moran, about a CIA agent. It was a decent read, but I didn't love it. Before that I finished If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern. I've read her other books and this was good, but not as good as the others. I especially loved her last one, that was written all in letters and emails. I adore books that are all letters and emails.

I made good progress yesterday with my writing, but it's definitely nose to the grindstone time here if I am going to get this book out by deadline. I'm excited about it though and it's the kind of work I like - digging for information and pulling it together in a way that will help people.

Nose to the Grindstone

2006-01-03T08:22:00.000-05:00

Well the holidays are over (whew) and life can get back to normal. The kids are off to school and I'm back at the computer again. I'm about to start work on a new book, but first I've got to run around like a crazy fool going to the post office, bank, grocery store, and dry cleaners. One of the pleasures and pitfalls of working from home is that you end up doing errands during working hours. I usually end up working nights and weekends though, so it all evens out. In fact, there is almost no separation between work and non-work time for me. It all ends up blending together, which I actually like.

The Christmas decorations will come down next weekend hopefully and then I will have my house back which will be a great relief. Next week I'm supposed to do a bunch of drive time radio interviews to promote the Gay Divorce book.

We had a nice holiday season, but it was an eye opener in a lot of ways, which isn't an entirely bad thing.

Getting up this morning was a challenge, after getting used to sleeping until 8 or 8:30 every day, a 6:45 wake up was not fun. It didn't help that our puppy Percy decided he needed to go out at 2 am. Somehow I managed to forget how much trouble a puppy can be since it's been about 8 years since we've had one here. I think we need to put in a puppy treadmill to tire this dog out.

Credit

2005-12-22T12:51:00.000-05:00

I've got a radio interview to do this afternoon for my book The Complete Credit Repair Kit. I've done more radio for this book than any other title. It's a perennial favorite, particularly at this time of year when credit is a major factor in many people's lives. I always enjoy doing radio - mostly because it's so easy compared to other types of publicity. No cameras or video to worry about.

I'm not sure what the questions today will be, but I'm betting it will be about what to do with those big credit card bills after the holidays. Unlike a lot of people who write about credit, I'm actually a fan of credit. I think credit is a good thing, if you use it properly. I don't like to carry a lot of cash around, and credit is a great convenience. However, I think you must absolutely get to the point where you pay off your balance each and every month. If you're not at that point now, you should start to pay your bills down so it is possible.

A lot of people think the new legislation requiring minimum payments to be changed to 4% instead of 2% is going to help consumers. Let's be realistic for a moment. If you're only paying 2% of your debt now, paying 4% probably isn't going to help you pay it off. If you're only making minimum payments, you're in too deep and you'd better get a shovel and start digging your way out.

Gifts

2005-12-21T15:39:00.000-05:00

I saw the press footage of Elton John's wedding this morning. They both looked so happy. It contrasts with the recent news that the first couple to get a civil union in Vermont filed for dissolution. I wasn't surprised by that - I am after all, the author of The Complete Gay Divorce. What surprises me is that people are surprised.

Sir Elton and his spouse exchanged 31 carat diamond rings. Whew. I cannot imagine how big that has to be. I'm pretty sure Santa wouldn't be able to fit one of those down our chimney.

Speaking of which, Regis Philbin was on The View today pushing his Christmas CD (which I have on Napster and frankly don't much care for) and revealed that the first year he and his wife were married he bought her pierced earrings when she didn't have pierced ears. Ever since then they go together to pick something out, but this year he bought a surprise for the first time. I don't think I would like to pick out my own gift each year, but then again, it certainly would ensure you got what you wanted.

Odds and Ends

2005-12-20T08:13:00.000-05:00

We have a six month old puppy named Percy who is very excited about Christmas. He's so excited that he is removing all the bows from the presents that I wrap. It's driving me nuts. I get some wrapped and feel a sense of satisfaction and then he goes and rips the bows off. He's also exhibiting his adolescent tendencies when you put him out. We have a small fenced section of the yard for the dogs and he now refuses to come in after you let him out. So we started putting him on a retractable leash so we could reel him in but he highly resents that and digs his heels in and the collar is going to slip over his head I think at some point.

I'm almost done with The Year of Magical Thinking. This is not good because I only have one more book in the house left to read. Santa, do you hear that? Bring me some good books.

This morning I'm going out to get my hair cut. Yes, big exciting moment in the life of someone who works at home. I don't like getting my hair cut though. I said to Terry (my husband) once that I don't like going there because it is all about appearances. Well, duh. It's a hair salon. Really though, how I look is pretty low on my list of priorities.

Enjoying Writing Hiatus

2005-12-18T19:16:00.000-05:00

I'm still enjoying being on hiatus from writing. It gives me lots of time to read. Today I read Skipping Christmas which I read every year. I finished Memoirs of a Geisha and enjoyed that. I am going to start The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, although I have been avoiding it because it seems like it might be sad.

I love email but I hate it too. It seems our email hasn't been working right this weekend. People aren't getting my emails and I can't get any email from my husband. This seems to happen about once a month and it drives me completely crazy. Email is supposed to make your life easier, but when this happens, it makes it impossible. Because now I'm wondering who didn't get my emails and what emails were sent to me that I didn't get? There's no way to ever know and I could work myself up into a froth about it.

You know, I am such a dinosaur that I remember writing my college papers out by hand and then going on the computer to type them. I also remember being a senior in high school and for our senior paper, the English teacher made us type them on onion skin paper. Even then that seemed ridiculous!

Coming of Age

2005-12-16T19:39:00.000-05:00

My family has a secret fruitcake recipe. Now I know all the jokes about fruitcake, but this is one fruitcake that is good. This is not your typical fruitcake. It has no bitter citron in it or raisins and no cakey consistency. The family fruitcake is almost all fruit and nuts. It's like eating candy. I can't stand fruitcake in general, yet this is a fruitcake I wait for all year. My mother in law even likes it.

My mother has always provided a slab of fruitcake for my household. Until this year. "I don't have any and I'm not making any," she said. Egad. She didn't know how upsetting those words were! I had no choice but to make it myself. It's not Christmas without the fruitcake. In a secret ceremony (involving oaths, promises, and threats of retribution for sharing it with a soul, so don't even ask me), the treasured recipe was given to me and tonight I whipped it up. We have to see if it is as good as the ones my mother and aunt make since it is still in the oven. I've got high hopes though because the batter looked really, really good.

So now suddenly, at the age of 37 I have become a fruitcake provider. It is a heady and powerful feeling. Heck, I must practically be an adult if I'm allowed to make the fruitcake.

It's also a messy feeling. Somehow these secret family recipes are always harder than they sound. Take my grandmother's sugar cookie recipe. It makes cookies that are soft, moist and light as air. Oh, I could just groan at the thought. And you'll tear your hair out making it since she conveniently forgets to put in the recipe that you must freeze the dough (and I mean solidly freeze it) if you have any hope of rolling it out without it sticking to everything in sight. That cookie batter is so delicious that when I was a little girl, I used to sneak into her kitchen and eat some out of the container it was in in the freezer with a spoon, like ice cream. I think it was better than ice cream.

Well, I've got to go check the fruitcake. I'll let you know how it turns out. No matter the result, we're telling my mom it was perfect.

Is Divorce Dangerous?

2005-12-15T12:22:00.000-05:00

A friend told me today that she and her husband are getting a divorce. She wanted advice. Since I'm a former family law attorney, I become a pretty popular person when divorce enters people's lives! I told her what I told all of my clients. I absolutely maintain that children are better off in a home with a happy single parent, than in a home with two fighting parents. A recent study came out which would seem to contradict this.

It was all over the news recently that they have at last 'proven' that children of parents who divorce have more problems than children whose parents stay together. The problem with the study is that it made no distinction between low-conflict divorces and marriages and high-conflict divorces and marriages. Parents who are at each other's throats do more harm to children by continuing to subject them to their fights than if they divorce. And the problem in my estimation is that when you study low-conflict marriages and compare the ones who divorce with the ones who don't, you're comparing apples to oranges. Some people are able to overcome their problems and stay together, while for others, it is not emotionall possible. To suggest to those parents that they ought to stay together for the sake of the children does the entire family a terrible disservice.

I also believe that children of parents who do not get along are going to have more problems, whether their parents divorce or not, when you compare them to children from homes where the parents do get along.

Older and Wiser

2005-12-14T12:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday and I did something I rarely do. I took the day for myself. When you work at home, taking a day for yourself is a dream that never becomes reality, since something always comes up. But I did a pretty good job. I didn't leave the house to run all of my crazy errands and instead I wrapped presents in the morning and read in the afternoon. It was a nice, quiet day, except for our 6 month puppy gleefully stealing all the bows off the gifts I so carefully wrapped.

I'm reading Memoirs of a Geisha. The release of the movie kind of gave me that final nudge to read it. I don't know if I will want to see the movie though. We did recently see Rent and for once it was a movie that was nearly as good as the original (in this case, the stage show, as opposed to a book). I desperately want to go see The Family Stone when it opens.

I'm on a short hiatus from writing right now. Once the holiday season is over I've got to put my nose back to the grindstone. I've got two books to write before May. I do find though that purposefully taking some time off now and again makes me much productive during the times when I am hell bent on the latest book.

Greetings

2005-12-12T12:27:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my blog. I'm excited to be blogging. I have so much to write about, but I'll start by telling you a bit about who I am. I'm a former attorney and am now a full-time writer. I've written over 20 books (at some point I'm going to have to sit down and recalculate this because I think I am closer to 25 now) about topics such as pregnancy, fertility, parenting after divorce, and other self-help legal subjects. I'm married and have two wonderful children who are 7 and 13.

I have a real passion for making information accessible to people and really all of my writing is hinged on the belief that information is power. If you'd like to learn more about me, visit my web sites, www.BretteSember.com and www.YourPlusSizePregnancy.com.

Don't worry, this blog isn't going to be one of those self-promoting blogs. I intend to write about the things that interest me.

Right now I'm reading the new Sue Grafton mystery, S is for Silence and enjoying it. I must admit that this afternoon for lunch I was sooo tempted to make the sandwich she keeps eating in this book - salami and cheese on a roll with a fried egg. I restrained myself and made it without the egg.